Conflicts in marriage are normal, we are two different people and at times we are going to have two different experiences, thoughts, feelings, and ideas. What amazes me is not how common arguments can be in relationships, but how our fights are universal.

I have been doing marital therapy for over 20 years, and my father was a marriage therapist before me. In that time I have heard thousands of disagreements over dirty socks, sex, kids, and in-laws. As I listened to the underlying core of all our gripes, what I hear time and time again is what I call the Right Fight. Instead of talking about what's wrong most couples are talking about who's wrong, as a result couples get stuck in the battle over who did what to who.

You Can Be Right Or You Can Be Married was written to help couples understand this universal fight and begin to shift our conversation into a more constructive and helpful style. To help them talk about the pain, fears, and frustrations.