Dr. Skinner, your answer to my first question was very helpful and I have read your article Addiction and Intimacy. Although I have acknowledged that I still have feelings for him, still my heart cannot rest safely in my ex. However, now I want to address another problem. As background, when I was supplying my husband with those types of pictures (as explained in my first question to you) it was demoralizing to me. The demoralization manifested itself in various ways, but most particularly by a desire to know what it was like to love a righteous man. My heart traitorously went to another man. Inappropriate association and behavior (talking/sharing, kissing, eventually upper body petting at my offering 3 times) ensued progressively for just over a month. It was wrong. I was like a moth drawn to a flame/light. To me it was sweeter than things I had known with my husband. This man helped me to stop. For my part, I confessed it, came forth voluntarily to receive church discipline and fought the spiritual and mental battles to reject it and be unyielding in my commitment. (After a year of working with my current church leader, I am now in good standing. As an interesting side note, it was discovered that the leader who held the court in another state did not submit any paperwork although it was indicated that it had been.) This false step in me, however, is what "caused" my husband to expose those pictures of me meant just for him and just for the moment. (He promised not to keep them.) He explained that he did it out of anger. I think he did it out of revenge. Does it even matter why he did it? My problem is this: That part of me had only been given/shared with the man who was once my husband - no one else (aside from medical attention) - and now I've been exposed most cruelly and I feel raped. I once had access to his email as part of his behavioral change agreement established through a prior counselor when his secret first came out. In an email to one of his online buddies after sharing those pictures, my husband referred to me as "the slutwife." I read how this online buddy felt about my body using very, very disgusting terms. HOW does one get over this type of betrayal? I've tried shoving it out of my mind, refusing to dwell on it, turning it over to my Savior - and still it pierces. It's not constant. I'm functioning, I even have several days of gladness! However, I'll find myself crying suddenly - not just over that, but mourning losing a marriage I once believed I had and worked hard to develop - then I work to get beyond it and I'm ok again. Do I just need more time? More education? Have other women's husbands done this to them?